You know you're officially a Stanford alum when...
You get your first call from The Stanford Fund asking for your donation.
I just got mine tonight and was absolutely thrilled. I totally declined the poor, persistent freshman from the women's rugby team, but still enjoyed a great conversation as she tried lowering the donation amount from $100 to $50 to $20 and finally to a bargain basement $10 with corporate matching. They've taught her well.
I remember the fairly recent days when I hand wrote letters to donors, thanking them for their contribution to The Stanford Fund. Thanking them because their generous donation made it possible for students like me to enjoy wonderful and unique opportunities at a world-class institution. And thanking them because whichever student group I represented at the time effectively received a cut of their donation. What was it, $12.50 for each letter that passed QA? Oh, those good ol' days of hand cramps, misspelled names, ink smudges, tears of frustration at 3am, and parchment-colored correction fluid.
Someday I will make a large donation to TSF just so that I can receive my very own perfectly handwritten thank you letter, the nearly-unique content of which will be seen by only seven other donors in the world. And only then shall I complete my part in the money laundering circle of fun.