You know you're officially a Stanford alum when...
You get your first call from The Stanford Fund asking for your donation.
I just got mine tonight and was absolutely thrilled. I totally declined the poor, persistent freshman from the women's rugby team, but still enjoyed a great conversation as she tried lowering the donation amount from $100 to $50 to $20 and finally to a bargain basement $10 with corporate matching. They've taught her well.
I remember the fairly recent days when I hand wrote letters to donors, thanking them for their contribution to The Stanford Fund. Thanking them because their generous donation made it possible for students like me to enjoy wonderful and unique opportunities at a world-class institution. And thanking them because whichever student group I represented at the time effectively received a cut of their donation. What was it, $12.50 for each letter that passed QA? Oh, those good ol' days of hand cramps, misspelled names, ink smudges, tears of frustration at 3am, and parchment-colored correction fluid.
Someday I will make a large donation to TSF just so that I can receive my very own perfectly handwritten thank you letter, the nearly-unique content of which will be seen by only seven other donors in the world. And only then shall I complete my part in the money laundering circle of fun.
HAHAHA. Oh man. I do NOT miss those letter-writing days. I think that between Tmony, SSO, Opening, and Steering, I have at least 20 templates in a folder on my computer somewhere. Oh, the late-night letter-writing delirium... sure was a bonding experience over the years. Actually, I remember writing a few copies for you and Eric freshman year before I joined any student groups of my own!
ReplyDeleteAnd your sentence about "only seven other donors in the world" made me laugh out loud. Pure Bryan hilarity right there!
ha!! i never wrote one! that means i wont get any calls right?
ReplyDelete"the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiife... it mooooooves us aaaaaallllll..."
ReplyDeleteoh TSF, how i (don't) miss you (at all).
oh my goodness, bryan. thanks for the laugh of the day. :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much you would have to give to get a letter? $100? $50? I would give $12.50 and ask them to send me a letter. hahaha.
TPiglette - Yeah, I looked and counted 18 templates on my computer. Eight copies of each means 144 handwritten thank you letters signed in my name and floating around out there. And at $12.50 per letter, assuming all passed quality check, that means I generated $1800. And for you it would be at least $2000! Wow.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I still don't miss TSF. (Although those sure were great bonding times in Stern Dining...)
UnityXX - I still hate you for never writing one. :P And, trust me, you should still expect a phone call. They don't care whether you appreciate the beauty of TSF, they just want your money. Your fat, Google money.
Lara - Remember that time we were writing letters and sharing music off of my Discman? And we got to a song that you didn't like, but I, in my ignorance, stuffed the "fallen" earbud back in your ear thinking I was doing you a favor? I still crack up thinking about it.
Oh, and:
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama
Nants ingonyama bagIIIIIIIIIIthi Baba
Sithi UHHMMMM ingonyama
Jess - Thanks for the comment! I'm glad this blog amuses more people than just myself. :)
I should've asked yesterday what the minimum donation is to get a thank you letter. I know there are tiers, because I've also seen typed form letter thank you's...obviously not good enough.
I once got a thank you card for a TSF letter that I wrote. It was so heartfelt that I immediately felt dirty-- like I had participated in some evil scam.
ReplyDeleteOh, the horror of realizing (at the bottom of the page, of course) that you had made one mistake too many.
ReplyDelete"mlqurgrp"
That's the word verification right now.
i remember pounding on pjhun's window once when he lived on okada 1st floor, and then hearing an agitated cry, "gahhhhh!!! electrical englineering!!!" and the first (and last) time i wrote letters for stu...he spilled soda on them. bwahaha those were the days.
ReplyDelete