Sheer Incompetence

Today Everett got hit with some noticeable snow. It's really beautiful...I love the sight of barren tree branches covered in snow. What is not so beautiful, however, is the resulting traffic. A ten-minute drive turns into an excruciating hour of torture. Seattle drivers apparently cannot handle inclement weather and, as a result, drive exceedingly slow. Even in those situations, like going uphill, when they really need to accelerate. Never mind the fact that, if they were to go any slower, they'd lose traction and start sliding backwards. They would evidently prefer to hit the car behind them than to enable traffic flow. Their collective ineptitude is mind-blowing.

Of course, not everyone is that bad. I'll occasionally notice a capable and respectful driver. The one who signals, the one who passes on the left, the one who realizes that the point of the carpool lane is to reward those carpoolers with a faster lane of traffic. And just when I think that maybe there's hope in such a pathetic population of drivers, I spot the out-of-state license plate. I should've known.

I have to repent of my evil, commute-induced thoughts almost daily.

So today's random bout of snow has cancelled most of my evening plans. Forget the doctor's appointment, no cardio at the gym... I was even gonna go to a salsa club downtown, but the thought of the road conditions (and, more importantly, the traffic) prevented all of that from happening.

And so I spend this quiet weeknight at home alone. On the upside, I finally get to enjoy a nice, home-cooked meal. On the downside, I have to go make it first.

Slinky

Some people are like Slinkies,
Not really good for anything,
But they still bring a smile to your face
When you push them down a flight of stairs.

Jenn Kim claims to be that Slinky, but I still think it would be funnier to push her down a well. Exactly what Jesus would not do when He met with that woman at the well. Oh well. I just ended three - now, four - sentences with "well."

Are Slinkies even around anymore? I remember when they were all the rage, along with Koosh Balls and slap bracelets.

And, speaking of childhood experiences, since when did Kellogg's start sugar-coating Rice Krispies? I happened to enjoy this classic cereal as a kid...back when it was a purely textural and aural breakfast experience, devoid of both taste and nutritional value. This morning I discovered that it's become all tasty and crap. What a crying shame.

My Home

There's one sure way to recover an audience after a punishing post like my last.

That's right, folks, it's PICTURE TIME!

And I figure that, since it has been exactly six months since I moved into my new place, what better way to celebrate than to finally share with you some photos of the house. Check out all its majesty...

The view from my front door. Yes, I know, the walls are rather bare.

My living room, with books to be read on the coffee table and various recent greeting cards on top of the fireplace. Send me something and you might see it up there next time. I promise I won't use it as emergency fuel.

A view of the kitchen from the corner of the living room. Did you know that more couples fight in a yellow kitchen than one of any other color? And babies are more likely to cry and old people more prone to agitation in yellow rooms in general. Good thing none of the above apply to me, but perhaps some painting is in order, anyway.

Another view of the kitchen. The yellow kitchen. Peering into the (less, but still) yellow dining area.


And the dining area. Not walled off, so I wouldn't call it a room, but it's more than enough space for me and a few guests. I'm a big fan of pub height tables, and this 5-piece dining set was an awesome deal. Some of you will recognize the poster hanging on the wall. No, I don't intend to keep it there. I just needed something to temporarily break up the vast, yellow expanse.

Ignoring the garage, coat closet, and bathroom, that would be the first floor of my house. Once I've decorated my bedroom a little more, I'll post some pictures of the upstairs. And then you shall realize that bright yellow was one of the tamer colors of paint chosen by the previous owner of this house.

All in all, I do enjoy living here. And I really enjoy the fact that my house is still clean from the last weekend. I know, I can hardly believe it myself...

Warm House

I really should be asleep by now, but I just enjoyed a weekend great enough to stay up late and post about. In fact, I might argue that I just enjoyed my best weekend in Seattle... I realize I haven't spent that many weekends here, due to numerous weekend trips and whatnot, but, still, this one was good.

Today marks exactly six months since the day I started work as a full-time professional. Two days prior to that was when I physically arrived in Seattle in order to sign and close on my condo in Everett. So, basically, I got here six months ago. And it took me until this weekend to thoroughly clean and organize my junk so that I could actually have guests over. And, at last, I did it.

First came the dogs, of course. They ate dog food. Then my (relatively new) friends James and Caleb came over on Saturday for dinner and games. We had pork fried rice and a chicken and bell pepper stirfry. I almost whipped out an egg drop soup, too, but didn't have enough time. After that we played cards (500) till almost 2am. It was my first time actually hosting and entertaining anyone here, and frankly, it was awesome.

Sunday was also great. The same James and another (relatively less new) friend, Nick, came over after church for a late lunch of Manhattan clam chowder and roast beef sandwiches. I went overboard with the ingredients and now have enough soup to last me the rest of the week. Sweet. Again we played 500, and I was temporarily tied at the winning score of 500, until I quickly got trampled by Nick in the tiebreaker round. Poop.

Anyhow, having people over this weekend was like having an extended, belated housewarming party. My house does feel like home now.

And there were other highlights to the great weekend. Like visiting the Bodies Exhibition in Seattle with my church community group. "I'll never look at salmon jerky the same again..." And driving past the most brilliant double rainbow I've ever seen (I guess that's one nice thing about the rain here...) while on our way to check out sailboats at the Everett harbor. And, most recently tonight, catching up with my dear friend Chinsan over AIM and laughing my head off.

Oh, and there was the musical worship at church earlier today. Let me tell you, one of the bands at Mars Hill, E-Pop, wrote arrangements of the hymns "Solid Rock" and "I'll Fly Away" that are so beautiful, it's ridiculous. "I'll Fly Away" is a song about death and a joyful return "to a home on God's celestial shore..."

Just a few more weary days and then I'll fly away
To a land where joy will never end, I'll fly away

I was moved to tears while singing the song today, and I assure you, even when a song hits so personally, I'm not usually a crier. The last time I recall was in 2004, at the old KCPC building (YAG service in the mortuary), singing "How Deep the Father's Love." Prior to that was at Urbana 2003, "Hope of the Nations." And prior to that was in 2001 while singing "The Lord Bless You and Keep You" for Kari's late father. This is rare, right?

I think if people played a song at my funeral, I'd like it to be the E-Pop rendition of "I'll Fly Away." Otherwise, Chris Rice's Untitled Hymn, "Come To Jesus." Both would be perfect for maximum waterworks. YES. Matt Redman's "Better Is One Day" would also do the trick. Perhaps not "Let Everything That Has Breath" (great song though it is). Unfortunately, it might get taken the wrong way at a funeral. Especially the "...praise the Lord" part. I, for one, would immediately think of "Ding dong, the witch is dead." Not quite the sort of legacy I would hope to leave...

All right, so I just wrote a fantastically underwhelming post with enough personal event narrative and limited-audience references to bore just about anyone. I'd try to salvage the post, but it's actually past 2:40am now and it is really time to go to bed, lest I die at work tomorrow.

("Let everything that has breath...")

Dogpile

This weekend I'm dog-sitting for a friend. Her three dachsunds Emma, Bella, and Joey. It's been a while since I've cared after dogs, so it's nice to have these guys over for the weekend. They're just a bit...energetic. In fact, Emma's freaking neurotic and Bella's a little princess/attention whore. But Joey's cool. He's a mellow dude, and I like him. The girls have surely figured out that I already picked him as my favorite. And for good reason. They had been with me for no more than three hours when the two girls escaped from my backyard. I had only stepped inside for a brief second and when I came back out, all I saw was Joey staring back at me with this inquisitive look, "Why did they leave me?" With some coaxing, Emma came crawling back and was sent immediately to her prison cell. On the other hand, Bella led me on a chase around the block before she decided that even confinement in prison was better than status as fresh roadkill. Good girl. Off to the cage with you.

And so I'm sure this will be an interesting weekend. Tomorrow I'll have over some dinner guests of the human variety. I'll try to remember not to throw rawhide at them.

Dairy Air

I realize it's already been a while since my last post. I've had numerous random thoughts recently that would've been blog-worthy, but I just never got around to posting them. Thoughts like, I can always tell when my mom goes through cleaning her e-mail inbox, because I get to read all her many, many forwards. I swear, the woman is trigger happy when it comes to that blasted Forward button. Thoughts like, My knees and butt really did not appreciate my most recent snowboarding trip... Especially when I got dragged up that black diamond. Thoughts like, I really miss all the people that I left behind in the Bay Area...but I'm feeling more and more at home in this new place, with new friends, a new church, and new hobbies.

Wow, I could get deep with that last thought. But not this time.

Instead, I'm sharing with you all a gem of a Facebook note that I wrote while at home with the family for Christmas a couple months ago. The note was going to show up here sooner or later, to prove to you my love for immature humor. Anyway, back to the original subject:

Dairy Air

So, I'm home for the holidays. "Home" is a funny term because I didn't exactly grow up here, and, in fact, I have few friends in the quaint township of Elk Grove Village...few in the greater Chicagoland area, in general. So, unless a random friend (Michael Lin) or collegiate a cappella group (Testimony A Cappella) chooses to visit the area, I all too frequently find myself taking advantage of the free DVD rentals at our local library to pass the time and catch up with pop culture.

Over the past few days, I have watched:
War of the Worlds (not bad)
The Royal Tenenbaums (I give up on Wes Anderson...)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (AWESOME)
Shaun of the Dead (I love horror comedies about "the mobile deceased")
Lady in the Water (Daniel, Mickey, Michael - I'm so sorry.)

Just remember these were all free rentals.

And now my latest: Red Eye

Ah, "Red Eye." It's a thriller, and it's set on an airplane. My kind of movie! Now, if one were to think I am therefore, by default, excited to see "Snakes on a Plane," one would be very wrong. Maybe "Spiders on a Plane." Oh, but wait, they already did that in 1977. It was called "Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo"...and I know this, sadly, because I've already seen it.

Anyway, in "Red Eye," the fictitious airline on which our main character flies is called Fresh Air. Ha! My sister and I couldn't stop laughing every time they announced the airline's name. Wes Craven sure has a sense of humor. And it got me thinking...If I were to name an airline, of course I'd have some fun with it.

Years ago, when United Airlines launched their low-cost subsidiary, Ted, I thought it was a genius branding move. And then I joked with friends about what American Airlines might do in response. They would have no choice but to launch their own no-frills subsidiary, Can. Just imagine the slogan: "Come fly the Can."

Tonight, Fresh Air got me thinking again... If I were to start a new Midwestern regional airline, I would have no finer name for it than Dairy Air.

"It's time to fly...Dairy Air."
"Come fly the friendly Dairy Air."
"Something special in the Dairy Air."
"Dairy Air. A whole different animal."
"Dairy Air. Wanna get away?"
"Dairy Air. The winds of freedom blow."
"Welcome to the departure lounge for Dairy Air flight 455. We will now begin boarding from the rear."

Oh, the possibilities are endless... In fact, here are some more.

As suggested by Danny:
"Dairy Air. More room inside."
"To access your account, just click on 'My Dairy Air.'"

And from Mickey:
"Dairy Air. We're gonna blow you away."

I'm open to more brilliant suggestions if you want to share them. If I were to launch this airline with your slogan, I'd gladly send you an honorary Turd Bird or something. It would be awesome.