Fo' Pizzle My Nizzle

Yesterday I went to the 99 Ranch Market to buy Chinese groceries. It's always quite the experience being spoken at in more dialects/languages than I knew existed...and later learning some of that colorful vocabulary from the arguments that break out in the check out lanes.

Still more interesting, however, are all the findings in the store. It is a veritable museum of plant and animal species. Imagine pomelos bigger than my head (think grapefruit on steroids), durian fruit on sale (the experience of rotting garbage in your mouth - yum!), and types of meat you wish you never saw.

Oh yes, the "meat."

Yesterday at the meat department I caught sight of a single package tucked away in a corner labeled "Beef Pizzle." What is this beef pizzle?, my curious mind inquired. The fact that it was left by itself, untouched, should have been my first clue not to go pick it up. Through the cellophane, I could see it resembled sausage, but chopped into segments. And each cross-section revealed fully intact muscle tissue (i.e., not processed meat product), suggesting this was definitely not the typical sausage...at least not in the literal, culinary sense.

Ahem.

I had my suspicions confirmed when I Googled it today. And then I wanted to barf. Suddenly, eating fish heads, duck heart, and chicken feet seemed like child's play.

If you're still not sure what I'm talking about, Google it, and enjoy the experience of upchuck in your own mouth. Here's my favorite search result: Dog chews. "No two bulls are created equal, so girth of pizzle sticks may vary."

Ugh, do my people deem anything beyond the limits of consumption?